George A. Sprecace M.D., J.D., F.A.C.P. and Allergy Associates of New London, P.C.
www.asthma-drsprecace.com


Military Wisdom

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>    "If the enemy is in range, so are you."
>
>    - Infantry Journal
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>    "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you
> just bombed."
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>    - U.S. Air Force Manual
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>    "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
> encountered automatic weapons."
>
>    - General MacArthur
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>    "You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me."
>
>    - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
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>
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>    "Tracers work both ways."
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>    - U.S. Army Ordnance
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>
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>    "Five second fuses only last three seconds."
>
>    - Infantry Journal
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>    "Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."
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>    "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown
> Marine Recruit
>
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>    "If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."
>
>    - USAF Ammo Troop
>
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>    "Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil.
> For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
>
>
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>    "You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
>
>    - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
>
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>    "The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
>
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>
>    "If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably
> a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
>
>    -------------------------------------------------------
>
>    "When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have
> enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
>
>    -------------------------------------------------------
>
>    "Even with ammunition, the USAF is just another expensive flying club."
>
>    -------------------------------------------------------
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>
>
>    "What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
> If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... The pilot
> dies."
>
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>
>    "Never trade luck for skill."
>
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>
>    "Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to
> successfully complete the flight."
>
>    -------------------------------------------------------
>
>    "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
>
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>
>    "Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to
> a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything
> about it."
>
>    --------------------------------------------------------
>
>    "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just
> barely kill you."
>
>    - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
>
>    -------------------------------------------------------
>
>    "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
>
>    - Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
>
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>
>    "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
>
>    ---------------------------------------------------------
>
>    "You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes
> full power to taxi to the terminal."
>
>    --------------------------------------------------------------
>
>    As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having
> torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck
> arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?".
>    The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"
>
>    - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
>
>
>
>    --------------------------------------------------------------

Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight. After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice, 'Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons.'
After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a tight lipped smile, ' Admiral , United States Coast Guard, retired. Married, two sons, both Judges.'
After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims, ' Master Gunnery Sergeant, United States Marine Corps, retired. Never married, two sons, both Admirals.
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 During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a  muddy back road encountered another jeep stuck in the mud with a  red-faced colonel at the wheel. 'Your jeep stuck, sir?' asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. 'Nope,' replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, 'Yours is.'
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 Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, 'Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir.' Feeling as though  he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, 'What do you want?' 'Nothing important, sir,' the airman replied, 'I'm just here to hook up your telephone.'
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 Officer: 'Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?'
 Soldier: 'Sure, buddy.'
 Officer: 'That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again! Do you have change for a dollar?'
Soldier: 'No, SIR!'
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 An Air Force chief master sergeant and a general were sitting in  the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
The general shouted, 'Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!' The sergeant turned to his barber and said, 'Go ahead and put it on me. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.'
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 'Well,' snarled the tough old Navy chief to the bewildered seaman, 'I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and pee on my grave.' 'Not me, Chief!' the seaman replied.  'Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!'
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 The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport.
 'You 'have been to France before, monsieur?' the customs officer asked sarcastically. The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously. 'Zen, you should know enough to 'have your passport ready for inspection.'
The American said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it.' 'Impossible. You Americans always 'have to show your passports on arrival in France !'
The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, 'Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach in '44 I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to.'




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