THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS in Legalese (Author unknown)

 Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a
 certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a
 general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not
 limited to a mouse.

 A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed
 by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that
 St.  Nick a/k/a/ St.  Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus")
 would arrive at sometime thereafter.  The minor residents, i.e.  the
 children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual
 beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e.  dreams, wherein
 vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies,
 nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said
 dreams.

 Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to
 as ("I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the
 party of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had
 retired for a sustained period of sleep.  (At such time, the parties
 were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g., kerchief and cap.

 Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the
 unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e.,
 the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or
 circumstance.  The party of the first part did immediately rush to a
 window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.

 At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree
 of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the
 Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by
 approximately eight (8) reindeer.  The driver of the Vehicle appeared to
 be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.

 Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to
 the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the
 animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet,
 Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer").  (Upon information
 and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co- conspirator
 named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)

 The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer
 intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several
 residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and
 noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other
 items of unknown origin or nature.  Suddenly, without prior invitation
 or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the
 House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.

 Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with
 residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a
 portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items.
 He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant
 violation of local ordinances and health regulations.

 Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the
 minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other
 small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said
 minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S.  Tax Code.)

 Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and
 flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where
 the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus
 immediately departed for an unknown destination.

 However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said
 House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim:
 "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that
 effect.