~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them

...but your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good.

Coming home is better!

~When people say you look "Great"...

they add "for your age!"

~When you needed the discount, you paid full price.

Now you get discounts on everything...

movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.

~You forget names ... but it's OK

because other people forgot

they even knew you!!!

~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose

is now 15 and you have a better chance

of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

~You realize you're never going

to be really good at anything .... especially golf.

~Your spouse is counting on you

to remember things you don't remember.

~The things you used to care to do,

you no longer care to do,

but you really do care that you

don't care to do them anymore.

~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair

with the TV blaring than he does in bed.

It's called his "pre-sleep".

~Remember when your mother said,

"Wear clean underwear?in case you GET in an accident"

Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!

~You used to say,

"I hope my kids GET married...

Now, "I hope they STAY married!"

~You miss the days when everything worked

with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..

~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem ....

were unheard of, and a mouse was something

that made you climb on a table.

~You used to use more 4 letter words ...

"what?"..."when?"...

~Now that you can afford

expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

~Your husband has a night out with the guys,

but he's home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.

~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.

~Notice everything?they sell in stores is "sleeveless"!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.