When Grandma Goes To Court
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Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi
grandma a question if they
aren't prepared
for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a
grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her
and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.
Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and
frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and
you manipulate people and talk about them behind their
backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll
never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and
asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster,
too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the
worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice,
said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me,
I'll send you both to the electric chair.'