A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church 

services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the

act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts 2:38!' 

(Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins 

may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and 

explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: 'Why 

did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to 

you.'

 'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!'