George A. Sprecace M.D., J.D., F.A.C.P. and Allergy Associates of New London, P.C.
www.asthma-drsprecace.com


Capitalism and Cows

> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one
> and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them
> and retire on the income.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell
> one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are
> surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
> FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike
> because you want three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign
> them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
> twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called
> Cowkimon(tm) and market them world-wide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You re-engineer
> them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't
> know where they are. You break for lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You count them
> and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42
> cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting
> cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which
> belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
>
> A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You worship
> them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300
> people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity,
> and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
>
> AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION -- You have two cows. That one on
> the left is kinda cute.
>
> ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of
> them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
> your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
> associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
> exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
> intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority
> shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
> The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
> more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you
> with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys
> your bull.
>
> ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC -- You have 2 cows. You shred all
> documents that Enron has any cows, take 2 cows from Enron for payment for
> consulting the cows, and attest that Enron has 9 cows.
>


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